All my love, Alice
by r0xi
Summary: Alice tells Hatter that she will return soon to Underland in a letter. But when she goes to China instead, Hatter turns evil and becomes a murderer. What happens when Alice does return? M for dark themes and later chaps. Story better than summary
1. Dear hatter

**Alice P.O.V**

_Dear Hattah,_

_I am very sorry for having to leave Underland. But I have unfinished business that my father had. I feel like I am to pursue his goals that he didn't get to finish. I will return to Underland, I just need some time to tie up loose ends. I haven't forgotten who (course I haven't or I wouldn't be writing this would i?) I just hope that this letter makes it down the Rabbit Hole and into your hands._

_ All my love,_

_ Alice_

_P.S why is a raven like a writing desk?_

After I wrote the words, I sealed them in an envelope I found in the draw in Lord Ascot's room. I then stood up, stretching out my limbs from sitting down to long; writing a letter and planning the trip for China. Once I felt not stiff anymore, I went outside towards where I remembered seeing a white rabbit go down the hole a few weeks ago.

To tell the truth, I didn't remember very much about Underland. I just remembered the Hattah and that I had to leave there to answer Hamish and finish unfinished business, everything else was a blur of bright colours. But I held on to the Hattah's memory.

Once I reached the rabbit hole, I knelt next to it and vaguely remembering a certain white rabbit going down it. I had followed him, and when I got here, I fell down the hole. The fall was terrifying but it was over quickly. After the fall, I didn't remember very much. Just something foggy about a room that takes you to Underland.

I took the letter from my dress pocket and kissed the sealing. I then sent it down the Rabbit Hole.

_Please make it to Hattah_. I thought while I saw it disappear.

"Alice? Is that you?" I heard my mother say from her room as I tiptoed back, I hadn't want anyone to know I had been missing for a brief moment. Everyone was so concerned for me now, ever since the party.

"Yes it is mother"

"Could you please come here?" I heard her faint voice. She had been worried the most. She was now bed-ridden from fainting earlier when she found out I went for a walk outside, I didn't come back for about an hour, she thought I was missing again.

I walked slowly to her room, already knowing what she was going to ask; where I had been and why.

"Where were you? I heard from the maid that she went in to check on you, and you were gone from your working desk." She started speaking before I even got to the door.

"I felt a little light headed from being cooped up so long, so I went for a little walk outside." I lied easily.

"But why on earth would you go for a walk at this time of night?" I knew why she was so concerned now. It was very dark out. Something could happen to me easy.

"Because, I wouldn't have been able to sleep easy at night if I didn't go for a walk to clear my head." Half of that was true. If I hadn't sent the letter today, I wouldn't have been able to sleep one wink.

"Okay, but Alice dear, please alert me next time you feel like going for a walk outside. Last time you had me so worried when you didn't come back, then when you did you were covered in dirt. And then you announced you had _hit you head_, I felt worried I was going to loose you! I don't want to loose you like I lost your father." She said going white, tears pooling in her eyes.

I was basically all she had left.

Margaret had moved out to live with her cheating husband. I heard that he was still going around kissing that girl.

Father had passed away. But if all went to plan, like I hoped it would.

I would to be leaving soon. I would be leaving to head back to Underland, hopefully.

_I just hope the letter makes it to Hattah._

**Hattah P.O.V**

I was having tea with Hare when all of a sudden; we heard Mally yell to us from a distance.

"Hattah! There's a letter here for ya!" she yelled. We barely heard her. Hare's ears pricked when he heard her and starting preparing things to throw towards her.

"Hare, don't. She seems to have important news for us." I said seeing what he was planning.

When mally finally came into view, I could see that she was holding a small brown envelope in her hand. I put down my empty cup and lent her my hand. She climbed up onto to my hand and I lifted her to the table.

Looking at my empty tea cup while she caught her breath, I started thinking. Our parties weren't the same anymore. I couldn't drink tea anymore. My life was so plain without…Alice.

Pulling me out of my thinking process Mally waved the letter in front of my nose. It smelt like dirt. Dirt from the _Rabbit Hole_.

"Hello! Earth to Hattah! You have a letter that needs reading!" Mally squeaked.

"Oh yes, I shall read it oh small Mallyumkin." I said, just to annoy her. It did the trick.

"Oi! Do not call me small Mr.! I shall poke you with my sword!" when she said that, I put my hand against her to stop her from leaping towards my nose and cutting it, like last time I called her small.

I opened the letter. The handwriting looked familiar.

"It's from Alice!" I yelled standing up when I recognized the handwriting.

I ran my hand over the paper, feeling the dents when the quill made contact with the paper. I then smelt it. It smelt like _her_.

"Are you going to read it? Or just sniff it?" Mally squeaked from her seat which she ran to when I stood up quickly.

"Oh yes, reading. I shall do that now." I sat down and started reading

After I read it, I re-read it, imaging Alice sitting at a desk writing this letter.

"She's returning soon! I must write a reply to her!" I said, standing up again.

I ran across the table to reach my house.

I saw Hare's and Mally's faces when I ran away. They both had equal looks of confusion for my sudden excitement.

As soon as I got to my house, I closed the door and ran over to my old wooden table where I used to make hats.

I found some ink and started writing.


	2. Sending a letter

**Alice P.O.V**

It had been a week and a half and there was no reply from Hatter.

Or any sign at all that my letter had made it to Underland.

Even it did make it down to Hatter, how would he even reply and get it back up here?

I kept thinking about while I paced my room. There wasn't much room to pace in, but it was enough for me at the moment.

Lord Ascot had wanted me to come on the voyage to china that I had suggested after I returned.

I had to tell Lord Ascot that I would think about it. I had decided that if I hadn't got a sign or letter from hatter by Sunday, I would tell Lord Ascot that I, infact would escort him to China.

I looked out the window, to the dark night.

I wanted to return so badly to Underland. To return to hatter, and my other friends that were blurs but I still could half remember them.

_I just hope that I get a sign from Underland or a letter by Sunday._

**Hatter P.O.V**

I had replied to Alice's letter. It was sitting on my desk, tempting me to climb up the Rabbit Hole to see her. But I didn't know what would happen to me if I did go up there. I had lived here all my life.

Instead of risking my neck, I decided that I would go to Absolem.

Absolem was now a beautiful blue butterfly. He could fly up the Rabbit Hole to find Alice and give her the letter that I wrote back.

Oh how I missed Alice dearly. I missed her wild yellow curly hair that covered her white neck that trailed down to-_stop thinking like that Tarrant_.

Yes, I must stop thinking about Alice like that.

I had found Absolem in a tree in the garden of white flowers at Mamoriel. He was hanging upside down in a white flower tree. Everything was white here.

"Absolem! I am very glad to have found you here. I must ask you to do something, its mad yes, but I'm mad so to me it seems normal but to you it may seem-"

"Quiet, you fool!" Absolem yelled to stop my rambling.

I shut my mouth with an audible snap and looked at my feet.

"Finally, you're quiet. Now what is this normal task that is mad that you would wish me to accomplish for you?" he said bored.

"I would like you to use those lovely blue wings of yours to fly to Aboveland and hand this letter beautiful Alice. I'm sorry to say, but she is more beautiful than your blue wings." I said

"I don't care about what you think is and isn't beautiful Tarrant. But, I must mention that your eyes are pink. That's a new colour for you. Anyway, I will give this to Alice, just so you won't annoy me with this again. I can't say how it will take, but I will complete this for you."

_Please be soon._

"Thank you Absolem!" and with that, he flew off with my letter.

I headed back to the made tea party with a skip in my step. I was so happy now, Alice would get my letter soon and she would return and then we could have tea together all the time.

I reached the table and noticed that Chess was in my seat.

"You're late for tea!" hare yelled to me throwing a spoon and cup in my direction. I missed the cup but the spoon had got me in the eye.

"Ow! I should skin ya, ya little hairy mongrel!" I said getting angry at him, speaking in my Scottish accent.

"Hatter" Chess said, pulling me out of my angered state. Usually only Alice would be able to do that. _Alice_.

"I must say, Tarrant, your eyes are rather pink suddenly. I've never seen them like this before, and I have seen you quite often at tea times. Thinking about someone? A certain _blonde_ someone?" Chess said in a bemused tone of voice.

I ignored his remark and shooed him from my seat.

"Now mally, what letter shall we study this tea time?" I said sitting down, trying not to think about Alice.

"Have some sugar!" Hare yelled laughing.

"I want a _letter_ Hare, not sugar." I said knocking it away.

"A!" Mally squeaked. I lost her for a moment but then found her in the teapot.

"You are small you know that? Ow!" I said rubbing my hand after she had stabbed it with her little sword.

"Okay, the A. Hmm…" I wondered while tapping my chin. The only A thing I could think of was Alice.

"Airhead! That was what the Red Queen had" Mally said, shivering at the thought of the Red Queen.

"Yes, she did have an airhead, but Lady-I mean Queen-Mirana has banished her so its safe now. Armor" I replied, I wanted to say Alice but decided against it.

"Apricot"

"Apple"

"Tea!" Hare yelled after being quiet for long for him.

"Yes, tea is nice, but we are looking for A words. Not T Hare. Now A…Alice" I slipped out. I pretended to drink my tea, but then remembered that I didn't have anything in it.

"Your eyes are pink again Tarrant." Chess said appearing next to me suddenly.

"You need to announce when you are arriving here, Chess, you do give quite a scare."

"You know what I think of this new pinkyness in your eyes _Hatter_?" I flinched; I only really liked it when Alice called me Hatter.

"What do you think of my new pinky in my eyes _Chessar_?"

"Don't call me that." He said scowling

"I believe that from your new pinkyness in your eyes, that you love Alice Kingsley." He said twirling his head while he said it.

"I do not! What an absurd idea that is Chessar! Alice is simply my best friend. I don't _love_ her!"

"Oh but yes Tarrant! You do! All the evidence needed is in your eyes!" he then disappeared in a cloud of smoke before I could snap at him.

I thought about what he said.

Alice was my best friend. I loved her in a friend way.

I didn't love her _that_ way.

Did I?


	3. Absolem returns

**A P.O.V**

it was now Sunday and their were no signs or letters from Underland.

I waited by myself for ages during the day, hoping for someone to walk in and have a letter, but no such luck.

_Oh well, off to China then._

As I made my way to Lord Ascot's room, i thought about the Mad Hatter.

I missed his fluro green eyes that turned orange when mad. It had seemed only i could pull him out of the stage, then he would speak in a strained voice saying he was "fine". It was kind of cute. _Wait, what? Oh well._

When i reached Lord Ascot's room, i took a deep breath and knocked twice.

"Yes?" i heard a muffled voice anwer.

"it's me, Alice, may i come in?"

"Oh Alice! Yes do come in!" he said opening the door. He looked very tired.

"i've came to answer your question about China" i paused to see his reaction-he was anxious. "i've decided that i will escort you to China."

"Oh thats wonderful news! i will very much enjoy you accompaining us on this trip, seeing as your smart and your father was very well trained, you might have picked up some of his skills!" he said walking to the window with a bounce in a step.

i forced a smile for him.

We then went to tell my mother about my departing for 2 years.

"But Alice, are you sure you want to be in trading? You could settle down with a lovely man here, in London and have a family"

"Mother, i don't want to get married! None of the gentleman here are right me." that was true. None of the guys here appealed to me.

"But what about Hamish? He was decent enough wasn't he? And he was a _lord_." I rolled my eyes.

"Mother, i already said no to Hamish! I'm not getting married, i'm going into trading and thats final" with that, I walked out, back to my room.

On the inside I was hurting. i would never get to see Hatter again.

It would be 3 years over in China. Who knew how long that was in Underland? A few days down there was only a little while up here. About half an hour if i remembered right.

By the time i got back from China, Hatter could be dead.

Why di that hurt my heart so much?

**H P.O.V**

it had been week, and Absolem hadnt returned. Alice neither returned. i felt sick in the stomach, what if something had happened to Absolem and Alice hadnt recieved my letter?

Or worse-

What if something happened to _Alice_?

I couldnt bear to think that way. I returned to making a new flavour of tea, trying to take my mind of Alice and Aboveland.

Just when i perfected the new flavour, a bright blue butterfly landed on my teapot.

"Absolem! It's about time!" I said, very happy to see him. "Now, did Alice get my letter? Where is she? Did she come with you?" I was bursting with questions.

"Does it look like that blonde headed twit who doesn't even know if she's Alice is with me? No, course not, she's not here. I sent your letter, but she wasn't in at the time. She was on a boat heading to China by the time i got there, now dont look at me like that" he said after i gave him the death stare.

Alice. Alice wasn't coming back. She had promised that she would come back, back for me. But now she was on a boat heading to China for who knows how long.

"NO!" i screamed. throwing my best tea pot against the wall, tea spilling all over the floor, soaking the carpet. My eyes instantly turning bright orange.

"She said she was coming back! She promised! She said that she would return one day for me! If she promised why did she leave on a boat to go to China?" i rounded on Absolem.

"You should've done something to stop her form leaving!" i screamed.

"Stupid Hatter! I'm a butterfly! What could i have done to stop a _boat?_ nothing, thats right." he flew away after he saw me heading towards him with hands wanting revenge.

"Why did you have to leave?" i yelled to the empty room.

I felt like my heart had been torn out and stomped on by the one person i truely loved.

I didnt care if Mally or Hare could hear my yelling from the table.

I didnt care about anyting now.

I saw the broken tea pot on the other side of the room and headed towards it.

i looked at the broken pieces of China. they looked so _ sharp _and_ tempting._

_No_. i thought to myself, turning away from the China. i would not turn to self harm, not yet.

Instead i headed for the liquor cabinet i never used. I unlocked the many locks that kept everyone out and took out the bottle of whiskey.

I took a massvie swig of it. It stinged my tongue at first, but after another drink, it was fine.

I sat down on the wall next to the broken tea pot.

Taking another huge swig, i tried to down my sorrows.

After there was nothing left in the bottle of Whiskey, i considered getting up to get another but couldnt make my legs move.

Instead i picked up a piece of tea pot and brought it to my neck...


	4. Hatter's letters

**Hey guys, sorry for not updating for a week and half and leaving you on a cliff hanger. Please don't kill me. Has you may have guessed, Hatter's letters are reveiled in this chap. they're a bit dark. And i know its longer than my other chaps, but im trying to make them longer.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own AIW...blah blah you know the rest :)**

**Alice P.O.V**

Lord Ascot and I had been doing business in China for the past 2 years, and it had worked out great.

The people in China had let us sell them products, so we had made quite a bit of money.

But all the while in China, i kept feeling like I had forgotton something, or _someone._

The only thing i sort of remembered from the forgotton thing, was a pair of fluro green eyes on a blury firgure.

I don't know why i remembered those fluro green eyes, but whenever i did, i felt a pang of pain in my heart.

Like they meaned something deep to me.

* * *

When we returned home after being in China for 2 years and 3 months, Lord Ascot and I were welcomed home with open arms and kisses.

"Oh, dear Alice! Your home!" Mother said once she saw me, she ran over to me and hugged me tight.

"Mother, I can't really breathe" I said, struggling to get the words out from her tight grip.

She released me. "Oh, I'm sorry, I've just missed you so much you see, the house has been so lonely and quiet without anyone apart from me in it"

"I'm sorry for staying the extra 3 months than planned, we just had some loose ends to tie up towards the end." I said, finally able to breathe.

"Well, enough about China, you have recieved a few admirers that would like your hand in marriage" I groaned "But, I told them that you were not interested and they are all now married to other woman"

I smiled at the thought of mother sticking up for me in marriage. We started walking towards the house.

"But, also with admirers, you have gotten a few letters while you have been away." that stopped me in my tracks.

"W-what did you say?" I said in a small voice, i couldn't make my voice any louder. Why did that make me think of a dream I had about fluro green eyes I had a few weeks ago?

"Letters, you have recieved a total of about 4, I think. The first was recieved the day you left for China, it just missed you." That knocked the wind out of me.

"Please give them to me" I whispered.

"They are sitting on your bed, in your room." Mother said, pointing towards the house.

I ran to my room, closing the door behind me. Finally feeling home as i looked around the small room.

The blue paint was peeling off the walls, and the window was covered in dust, but it was home to me.

I looked to the bed and saw a stack of letters sitting on my pillow. As soon as I saw them, I ran over to them and picked the first up.

It smelled like sweet tea.

I noticed the letters were different colours.

3 of them were green, the kind of green of the eyes that i kept thinking of. The last letter was white.

I opened the one in my hands with shaky hands, inside was a letter that was written in a messy, cursive writing. It seemed that whoever had wrote it, was in a real hurry.

After I had finished readinf, i had to sit down. i re-read it a few times, letting the words sink in, trying to remember who this Hatter fellow was.

I re-read it for the 4th time, trying to remember.

_Dear Alice_

_I'm so glad to hear that you are one day returning to Underland. I'm hoping that the one day is a day coming soon. Mad tea hasn't been the same without you. Mally and Hare still have tea, but they don't have as much enthusiam towards it anymore. Underland misses it's champion. I can't drink it anymore. Reality is; I can't do anything that doesn't remind me of you and you wild curly yellow hair. Enough about tea. I wish I knew the answer to that riddle. I really do. I do so hope that your soon isn't too long down here. When the March Hare was in Aboveland, he was gone for only 2 weeks, but down here it was close to 2 months. Time travels fast down here. Missing you is driving me even more mad than I am already, which is saying something as I am already; quite literally made. I must go now sadly, Mally and Hare are fighting over scones again._

_All my love_

_The Mad Hatter_

After he signed his name in a flourish, there was a small picture of a hat.

I suddenly remembered who the fluro green eyes belonged to, they belonged to the Mad Hatter. And he lived in Underland. It all came back to me now.

He was the only person who showed any sign of kindness to me the second time i was in Underland.

Everyone else had kept saying that i was the "wrong Alice" although they hardly even knew me. I was meant to slay a Jabberwocky, according to the Oraculum. But when I looked at it and saw what was meant to be me, I had them I couldn't. Absolom called me a stupid girl and everyone then assumed I was the "wrong Alice".

But when i had followed a strange purple and cat-Chess i think his name was-I was reunited with the Mad Tea Party guests.

As soon as Hatter had seen me, his face spread into a grin. He ran across the table, instead of walking around it and then mistaked me for a he.

Then after a small talk about "waiting for my return", he asked me that mad riddle that I remembered now, so clearly.

_Have you any idea why a raven is a like a writing desk?_

He had no answer for it, neither did I.

I had remembered Hatter! I said i wouldn't, and now i haven't.

I looked back at the remaining letters, i still had 3 left. 2 were green. I knew that they belonged to Hatter.

I read the white letter before the Hatter's, wondering who they could be from.

_Alice_

_We know you may not recieve this, but we would like your help, once again. We are sorry to ask for your help again, but this problem is serious. Underland needs it's champion back. Please return as soon as you can, then we can tell you what is happening and see if you can asist us._

_Queen Mirana, March Hare, The twins, Chess and Absolem._

Why did so many people write one letter to me?

Queen Mirana, i remembered helping her to return to power after slaying the Red Queen's Jabberwocky.

Chess liked the stir up mischief and appear out of nowhere. He was the cat i remembered.

The twins liked to speak in riddles and make no-sense whatsoever. I used to laugh at their explainations of how I had gotten so big while I was in the Red Queen's castle.

March Hare returned me to Underland and Absolem liked to smoke.

Most of the people were nice, but why were they asking for my help? They all helped _me_ in someway or another. Not me helping them.

I decided that it might have been something to do with the Red Queen again.

Hoping to find out some answers, I opened Hatter's second letter.

_Alice,_

_Do you know that whiskey has the ability to take away pain?_

_You probably didn't, but now you do. Since Absolem returned with news that you weren't returning to Underland, that instead you were on a boat, heading to China, I turned to whiskey. I was going to turn to self harm, but thought I should try alcohol has a perculier taste. It's strong at the start, but after you drink enough, you get used to the taste. All my china is now broken. Like my heart. Why did you have to take my heart with you to Aboveland? Now that you've left, nothing is the same anymore. Hare and Mally don't drink tea anymore. They just sit there staring at their empty cups. I don't even leave the house anymore. I've trashed the house in a fit of rage. A fit of rage from when Absolem told me that you were on a boat, never returing, well so it seemed. I now sit in the dark; drinking . If i ever do leave the house, everyone will cower in fear, because my eyes are a new red. Blood red. I am full of rage and hatred. My eyes are now always blood red._

_I am now going to leave, to let you return to your wonderful life in China._

_I will fetch more whiskey to drink to stop this pain._

_Tarrant_

Although I had read it a few times, I couldn't believe what Hatter was saying. I had broken his heart? But he only loved me like a friend right?

I realised he hadn't solved any answers to what was the problem in Underland.

Blinking away tears, I picked up the last letter, nervously. What did this one say? I was scared that it was worse than than the second one, could it be?

Shaking badly, I opened the letter.

_A, _

_Blood is so lovely don't you agree? I happen to think so._

_Everyday I find the perfect piece of glass from the windows that I smashed and glide is across my white wrist. The blood pours out of the fresh wound like a overturned bucket. It's so deliciously red; blood is. I don't feel any pain from the slices. The only pain I now feel is in the hole in my chest from where my heart used to be. I'm suprised that no-one can see the hole in my chest from where you ripped my heart out. My eyes are as red as the blood that pours from the slices on my arm. I now scare everyone that see's me. I have became a murderer. But that story is for another time. You wouldn't want to hear it now. It would spoil your perfect new life. Your probably having to much fun to read this letter. I shall go now. The glass is tempting._

_T._

Now having tears pour out of my eyes so fast they couldn't come out fully, I clutched Hatter's letters to my chest and put my head on my pillow.

I had hurt him so much by leaving to go to China and returning home.

I didn't want to cause him so much pain.

All I wanted was to hold him and tell him I was never leaving him again, then I would tell him I loved him.

I knew i couldn't leave to go to Underland now, it was now dark out and mother would never allow me to leave at this time of night. She probably wouldn't let me leave the house for a while as I was gone for so long.

Sobbing, I clutched Hatter's letters closer and fell asleep, crying so much had tired me out. I needed sleep if I wanted energy to return to Underland aswell. I fell asleep dreaming of being in Hatter's arms.

_Tomorrow I will return to Underland-to Hatter._

**Sorry for being mean with Hatter and turning him emo. But he's really cut up about Alice leaving. That makes sense with the story :)**

**Plz review :) i'm in the middle of writers block for chap 5. So if u have any ideas for the story, plz message me. Any ideas are appreciated :)**

**I may not be able to write for a little while cause i have mid-year exams in 2 weeks and i need to study, im not abbandoning you! i promise ill have a new chap up as soon i can. **

**Roxy xx**


	5. AN

Hey Guys,

Sorry i haven't updated AMLA for bout a month, but like i said, i had mid year exams, then i had writers block.

But, i have chap 5 + 6 typed up on my laptop, its just the issue of getting it from the laptop to my other comp, i have no usb and they just need finalising...but i am getting internet on my laptop, as soon as i get it on that, i will upload the 2 chaps :)

And just as a heads up,

the next chap has a rape scene in it, but i've never written a sex scene before, so its probably crap, but i tried :)

Also, i would like to give a huge thankyou to the people who have reviewed.

without your reviews, i wouldnt have continued the story...if u had any ideas for the story plz send me them, cause im open for ideas, and im kind of stuck for chap 7...

Thats all for now, ill update as soon as i can

Roxy xx


	6. That's Not My Hatter

**Hey guys, im so sorry for not updating! I had work experience this week and i re-read this chap and wasnt happy with it so i re-wrote it. Sorry! Hopefully this chap will make up for it.**

**I'll have another chap up hopefully tonight, i'm just putting final touches on that one.**

**Like i said in my A/N, this chap has a rape scene it it. Im not sure how it is, cause ive never wrote a sex/rape scene before, but i tried!**

**Please review roxy xx**

**Alice P.O.V**

I had returned to Underland and Hatter had seemed quite happy to see me when I arrived at the table.

I was my normal size so he could finally see my normaly.

"Alice! Is it really you?" Hatter yelled, squinting his eyes as I made my way down the hill.

"Yes, Hatter it is me, Alice Kinsley, not the "wrong Alice"." I said with a giggle.

"Oh! I'm so happy to see your back! Tea may now commence, and your you're normal size so you don't have to drink out of the small tea cup we got for you, for when your small, which you aren't now, but if you are small again, you can use it. Unfournatley Mally and Hare can't make it today but I'll inform them your back." Hatter said quickly, it seemed he couldn't get the words out fast enough.

"Hatter! Breathe!" I said, restraining a giggle, putting my hands on his face like I used to. He was warmer than usual.

I don't know what happened next, but suddenly Hatter's lips were on mine.

They were as warm and soft as I imagined they were.

I melted into the kiss, the shock wearing off. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, while Hatter put his arms around my waist, a small moan escaping from his mouth as he did so.

But like they say, all good things come to an end. Hatter pulled away, but tightened his grip on my waist.

"Ow, Hatter your hurting me." I said wincing as he gripped harder.

I looked to Hatter's face and saw his eyes were blood red. His face twisted in rage, he was still angry at me leaving.

I opened my mouth to scream, but Hatter hand was on my face quickly to muffle my scream.

I turned to see that at the table, Mally and Hare were dead in their seats, they seemed to be have stabbed to death as their clothes were torn and blood was all over them.

I turned back to see Hatter's face still angered.

I bit his hand that was on my mouth-hard so it drew blood, he let go and I spat the blood out.

"Bitch!" Hatter yelled as he slapped me. It stung quite a bit.

I ran away, well as fast as I could in a dress that had 3 layers on it. Layers were not a good choice today.

I ran through the burnt down forest that Hatter and I travelled through years ago. It brought back bad memories.

I was getting scrapes on my legs from twigs hitting my legs, but I didn't care. All I cared about was getting away from Hatter with my life.

This wasn't the Hatter I loved, this was the Hatter that wanted my blood I was guessing as his eyes were blood red.

"Alice! You can't run from me forever you know! I will get you, then you will be mine." I heard Hatter yell as I felt tears run down my face.

I didn't know what Hatter would do to me if he caught up to me, and I didn't really want to know. So I pushed myself harder.

As I kept running, I tripped over a log that was hidden.

Keeping my mouth closed so I wouldn't make a sound, I tried to get up. But it didn't work, I'd twisted my ankle from the fall and it hurt to much to try to get up.

I heard Hatter's footsteps in the distance, so I tried to find a tree to hide behind. I tried to not make any noise, without succeeding. I was sitting on a pile of crunchy leaves.

Perfect.

I could see Hatter's dark figure about 100m away, walking towards my tree, as he walked into the moonlight, I saw a glint of sliver in his hand.

Gasping, I realised that he had somehow gotten a knife, while I'd been running for my life, but it now seemed he wanted to end my life.

I saw hatter approaching my tree. I tried to get up but my ankle hurt to much to move anywhere.

Biting my tongue, I tried moving again, but no suck luck again.

I tasted blood from biting so hard, but Hatter heard my little yelp.

"There you are you little slut. Think you could get away from me? You knew I would find you" He snarled as he rounded on my tree and saw me cowering.

"Don't cower! You knew how I had changed. I told you in the letters I wrote you! But you were probably too busy fucking men from China to read them!" He said, kicking my stomach a few times.

It hurt like was a strong kicker.

Hatter had started pacing infront of me now, twirling his knife.

"What shall we do her, friend?" he muttered to it.

As he kept whispering things to the knife, I tried to shuffle away.

"Don't move you fucking bitch!" he yelled as he grabbed my throat and dragged me back.

"Stop crying, you love me right? Well, if you loved me, then you wouldn't be cowering in fear or trying to get away fro me! Why not look me in the eyes and tell me how you feel?" he snarled, baring his teeth.

"I-" I managed to choke out, his grip was too tight to say anything. He must've noticed as he loosened slightly.

"Go on." He prodded "I don't love you!" I spat at him, trying to take a swing at him, but he grabbed my arms.

Putting my wrists in one arm, he grabbed the knife of the ground. Why didn't I grab that earlier?

"You'll pay for that bitch!" he started to unzip his pants as he put the knife in my stomach.

I screamed out in pain, while Hatter took the knife out of my stomach and put it to my neck instead.

I could feel blood pouring out the stomach wound as I felt another sharp pain.

I felt the sharp pain between my legs, where Hatter had forced himself into me.

While I was bleeding from my stomach, he spread my legs without me noticing.

I felt Hatter push himelf into me over and over again, as I begged him to stop.

Time passed but it felt like an eternity to me. Hater was not leaning over me and calling me a slut in my ear, telling me that I wanted his dick in me, just wouldn't admit it.

The pain from him driving himself into me harder each time and the cut was excrucitating.

I tried to yell for help a few times, but each time I would open my mouth, Hatter would slam my chin shut.

I could the knife starting to cut my neck.

I had tears poruing out my eyes as he drove into me again and again. It felt like he was getting rougher, but I couldn't be sure from all the pain all over.

He had stopped talking in my ear and starting grunting instead.

I was guessing he was getting close as he was grunting louder and louder each time, and he was rocking faster.

Has he finished inside me, i looked into his eyes, hoping to see the normal Hatter anywhere but nothing.

Then suddenly his eyes went green for a few seconds. His face mortified as he looked as me, but then as quickly as it happened, it vanished, replaced with red eyes, lighter than before.

He gripped the knife tight on my neck.

Hatter's eyes filled with tears, as he dragged the knife across my neck.

Goodbye Alice." he whispered.

**Hopefully this chapter makes up for the lack of updates. Sorry once gen!**

**Review pls!**

**Roxy xx**


	7. Leaving

**Hey guys, im sorry for not updating when I said I would. I wasnt allowed on the comp after i finished my story.**

**Anyway, thanks for ur reviews! Hopefully this makes everyone happy :)**

**Alice P.O.V**

I woke up screaming, covered in sweat.

_It was just a dream._ I kept repeating to myself.

That had felt so _real_. I pu tmy hand to my neck, expecting blood to be there but there was nothing.

Hatter had been so normal at the beginning of my dream, but then turned evil so quickly.

I didn't understand what was going on, but when I looked at the ground, I saw Hatter's letters. The last one he sent was crumpled except for one line.

_My eyes are now the colour of blood, because I am a murderer._

I didn't understand how or why that line was the only part not crumpled, but I had a feeling it was connected to my dream.

As I re-read the letter for the uncountable time, I remembered I was to return to Underland today.

I tried to think of what to say to the people I was leaving behind, but could only think of was Hatter raping me.

I hadnt wanted my first time to be like that, not even in a dream.

Shaking my head, I walked over to the dresser and grabbed a small bag, filling it with clothes.

I tried to avoid dresses, cause of my dream. I knew it wasnt real, but I didnt want to take risks.

As I was about to leave, I remembered mother. She would never let me leave after being home for not even 24 hours.

The sun wasn't completely up yet, so she would probably still be asleep, as she would be regaining energy from the the "excitment" of yesterday.

I decided to write a letter to her instead of having the hard talk.

I would leave it with my maid to give to her when she woke.

Also so she would be with her if she fainted.

I went to the study and found some paper after searching.

_Dear Mother_

_I'm sorry but I must leave again. There is something I must do in another place. I wish I could explain, but I can't. Im so sorry if I break your heart, but I dont think i will return. This place im going to is like my real home. Please dont be mad and please respect my decision. Please dont be mad at Margret anymore either, yes I head about your fight with her. She's all you have left now._

_ I'm so sorry, all my love, your daughter Alice._

After writing the letter, I waited for the ink to dry then placed it in a envelope.

After that, I went to the maid's quaters.

"Julie, I would like you to give this to mother when she wakes. Dont ask whats inside, but please stand by mother when she reads it, as she may faint." I said, as i saw Julie, handing her the letter.

She opened her mouth to speak, but I put my finger to my lips, reminding her to be quiet.

I doubled checked my things upstairs, then I set off to the edge of the forest to where I remembered the rabbit hole was.

On the way there, I saw a blue butterfly fly infront of my face and land on my shoulder strap of my bag.

"Hello Absolem" I said with a smile.

The butterfly just flapped its wings.

I reached the edge of the forest.

Sure enough, the rabbit hole was there, where I remembered it was.

I saw the butterfly fly down the hole.

I looked back to the hpuse, quickly reminicising the times that Margret and I had in the backyard all those years ago.

I would never come back here again.

I bent down and tumbled down the hole for the final time.

**Hopefully this makes you guys happy :)**

**I know its short, but i was gonna make this chap nd the last join, but decided to split it.**

**Review plz with ideas :) **

**roxy xx**


	8. Heading to Mamoriel

**Hey guys, sorry for not updating, but I was banned from my dads computer and I only just got internet on teh laptop, hopefully this chap will be good **

**It may be a bit long, but im trying to make my chaps longer...**

**Plz review with ideas or just review **

**Roxy xx**

**Alice P.O.V**

The tumble down the hole was a hard painful one.

As I fell down, a few things hit me.

First there was the book case that landed on my head. That had hurt quite a bit.

Then a few clocks broke and the glass scathed my legs.

I finally landed on the roof then fell to the floor. _Ouch_. I remembered that part of the trip clearly from last time.

I looked around. I was in the room with the doors and the table in the centre of the room.

I noticed that some of the doors had been smashed in and a few were coloured red.

I wondered why they were like that, but before I could think anymore of it, I remembered the Hatter and ran over to the table.

Only half of the liquid was in the _drink me_ bottle.

And a quarter of the cake was missing.

Had someone been down here before me?

I grabbed the key and took a bite of the _eat me _cake.

I felt myself get smaller. Smiling, I looked down at the dress I was wearing.

Somehow, I had a different dress on, but that didn't worry me. It happened last time to.

Holding the key in my hand, I found the familiar tiny door. Only it didn't look the same.

The door had been kicked in. I attempted to find the hole for the lock but couldn't find it.

When I did find it, it was useless, the door had been kicked in so much that the key wasn't needed.

What was going on in Underland?

It still looked as beautiful as before, but there was something different.

It was..._empty _and_ quiet._

There were no flying rocking horses, and the flowers didn't speak.

It was to quiet for Underland.

I started walking in the direction I thought the Hatter's house was in until I heard a familiar chuckle from the nowhere.

"Chess, I know it's you, so just come on out!" I yelled spinning round, attempting to find him, with no such luck.

"Oh Alice, Alice, Alice. You should know better than to walk around Underland alone. You never know who or what will hurt you down here." He said, from the right side of me.

I turned, hoping to see him there, but all I saw was a pair of sharp white teeth smiling and green eyes.

_Green eyes._

I shook my head, hoping to clear it from Hatter for 5 minutes so I could talk to Chess.

"Chess, what the hell are you on about? I don't have time for riddles or your crap so please, just get the point." I said, annoyed. I didn't have time for this. I needed to get to Hatter.

"Well, well, well. Haven't you got a bit of an attitude over these past five and a half years?" He said, finally appearing.

5 and half years? I was only gone for 2 and half years in China.

"I was only gone for 2 and half years in China, why are you saying 5 and half years?" I said, confused.

"Ah, you forget dear Alice; time is faster down here than up there. While it may have been 2 and half years to you, it was 5 and half years to us. It had been a very tough 5 and half years though. People have changed, people have died-wait, I didn't say that. What are you doing back here?" He said, his eyes darting round on the last 2 sentences.

"I'm here, because I got 4 letters from here, one of which, you wrote, asking for help. 3 were from Hatter saying that things were bad, and that I had apparently ripped his heart out? I'm not sure what he was on about, but I'm here now to figure it out." I said, recounting the letters from Hatter and everyone else.

"Ah yes, letters. Well, we did and still do need your help, but I can't explain why. And with the Hatter...well you will have to figure that out for yourself. But for me to explain it, we will have to go to Queen Mirana's castle. You will need to talk to her first." He said, slowly starting to disappear.

"Chess! You can't leave me here! I don't know the way!" I said yelling towards the spot he disappeared from.

He laughed. "Alice, I was only doing that to annoy you, you should know that I like to play tricks by now? Now, onwards to Queen Mirana's castle!" He said, pointing the way.

I nodded and followed him.

As we walked the way that was unfamiliar to me, I looked around.

"It's so empty and quiet here, it's scary." I whispered by accident. It was meant to only be a thought.

"Yes, it is quiet around here now, but there is a good reason for it. But like I said, I can't explain it; you will have to talk to Queen Mirana for the details on _that_." He said, now walking on the ground. It seemed weird.

I wanted to ask him what the special subject was that he couldn't talk about, but decided against it.

Looking down at Chess, I saw that he had a chunk of fur missing.

"What's wrong with your fur?" I said

"You mean the chunk of fur that's missing? Well that part of the subject I can't talk about. But I'll tell you this, what you think you knew, is about to change."

I nodded and thought about what he said.

I didn't know very much about Underland in the first place, so how could everything I knew change?

We kept walking to the castle. We had to stop a few times so that we could find some food for snacks and for me to catch my breath.

It was quite a long walk. I didn't realise how long it took last time, although last time I was on the back of Baynard.

We talked about China and Aboveland for a little while until it was too dark to see our own feet.

"Chess" I said, stopping him from humming while floating.

"Hmm?" "I think we should stop walking."

"Yes, I believe we should" he said, looking up at the sky. Once noticing the moon, he looked worried

"What's wrong chess? Why did you get worried at the moon? It's just full moon, not like there's gonna be a werewolf chasing us because of it" I said joking.

"Don't be so sure about the full moon Alice, you never know what could happen on a night like this. "Let's set up a place to camp for the night." He said in a worried tone.

As we found a clearing, which wasn't that hard as the part we were walking through was an empty forest, I sat down, relieving my feet.

I didn't notice chess leave, but suddenly behind us was a shelter.

"Being a cat like me has its advantages" he said bemused at my expression.

"Lets' just hope your "cat powers" can provide a soft place to sleep" I said, yawning.

As I put my head down on the improvised pillow, I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning I found Chess missing.

"Great, just great." I muttered to myself.

I began walking around the clearing, hoping to find Chess, when suddenly I did. Lying on his back on a rock. So Chess.

I woke him up with a stick and he meowed at me. I laughed.

"Why were you on a rock? The shelter was comfy" I asked, pointing back towards the shelter.

"I prefer rocks, don't ask why. Just a habit of mine. Rocks over comfort." He mumbled. He was still half asleep. I didn't know someone like Chess could be so cat like and odd.

"Let's make our way to Mamoriel. We should be there before the sun is too high in the sky if we are quick" he said, starting to float.

I nodded and headed in the direction I thought we were going to be going.

"If you'd like to head back to the hole you tumbled down, then go ahead going that way. If you'd like to go to Mamoriel, come this way" he said chuckling at my lack of direction.

I rolled my eyes and followed him.

As we kept walking, we talked about our beautiful we thought Underland was.

Chess had informed me that Underland may have been beautiful to me the second time I was down here, but it was even more beautiful before the Icobeth had taken over.

"I can't imagine it being more beautiful than it was, apart from Icobeth's land. That was just too much red for me handle." I said, shivering as I remembered Icobeth being in charge.

"Yes, red is hard to handle. But if you don't like to much red, maybe we should head back." He suggested.

"No! We didn't come this way for nothing now come on scaredy cat." I said, smiling as I teased him.

He scowled at me. "You defiantly are the right Alice from last time."

About an hour later, we had made it finally to Mamoriel.

We were expected, as we had servants come out and greet us. I looked at Chess, he simply shrugged at me.

That cat really did have a way of annoying me.

"Miss Alice, I presume, you are here to see the White Queen?" the servant said in a French accent.

I didn't know you could have accents like that down here.

"Um, yes we are here to see the white Queen, how did you know?" I asked.

"The Queen does have her ways of knowing things. Now if you would follow me, I will show you to the Queen." He said, guiding us towards the castle entrance.

It was just how I had remembered it. Big and white.

As we followed the servant, he led us to the kitchen. Queen Mirana was there, making a new potion with buttered fingers. I gagged silently.

The servant cleared his throat. "Miss Alice, Champion of Underland has returned and would like to see you." He said.

Mirana looked up from her potion, a wide smile spreading across her face.

"Alice! You have returned! And you have grown again! Although it has been quite a few years since you have been down here." She said, after she stopped smiling.

"Yes, it has been a while, but I'm back now, and it's for good" I smiled, turning to Chess. "Where's Chess gone to?" I said, seeing no one next to me.

"Oh, I think he's left us alone, so we can have a little chat. I'm presuming that you have asked him about the letter and he said he couldn't answer?" worry was in her eyes.

"Yes, he said that I would have to talk to you about it, because it wasn't his subject to spill."

"Yes, well for me to tell you what he was going on about, we would have to go for a little walk. Mind going for a morning walk?" she asked, her voice small.

"Um, yes, okay." I stuttered. Why was everyone so scared and being so weird around me?

As we went walked out of the castle, I noticed that some of the helpers of Icobeth were around the place.

Queen Mirana must have noticed my staring. "They have sworn to do no harm, so they now help out here." She said as I nodded.

We walked for about another 10 minutes, then I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Queen Mirana, can you please tell me why everyone is acting so strange? And why won't anyone tell me where the Hatter is?" I said, anger building up, if she didn't give me any answers, I was going to scream.

"Dear Alice, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you can't see the Hatter anymore." She said with sadness in her eyes.

I turned to see where we were.

We were in a graveyard.

**Please don't kill me! To be honest, i haven't started writing chap 8 yet cause i have a bit of writers block :S.**

**If u have any ideas or comments, their welcome and ill give a shout out for your help **


	9. He Can't Be

**Once again, sorry guys! Hopefully this chap nd the next make up for my absence **

**I would like to give a big shoutout to Ngoc Chau.**

**They have reviewed on almost every chap nd their reviews have helped and made me keep the story going **** thankyou!**

**Alice P.O.V**

I stared at Mirana in shock

Was she saying that Hatter was dead_?_

I shook my head in disbelief.

"No, Hatter can't be dead, I don't believe you! You're lying!" I yelled to Mirana.

Right now I didn't care that she was queen, Hatter. Couldn't. Be Dead.

She blinked a few times, in shock of my sudden outburst. I don't blame her, I was all calm then I suddenly blew up at her. I felt like saying sorry but she couldn't tell me Hatter was dead.

I felt Mirana's hand on my cheek, wiping away the tears I hadn't known had fallen.

"Shush Alice, your overreacting" She whispered as pulled me in for a hug and patted my hair.

"How am I overreacting? You don't get it; Hatter is dead because of me. I didn't come back sooner and it broke his heart, it's my entire fault" I sobbed into her shoulder.

She pulled me back suddenly and looked me in the eyes.

"What I mean when I say you're overreacting is that you've misunderstood the situation."

This time, I looked at her at her with a bewildered look on my face.

"B-but, we're a g-graveyard" I stammered.

"Yes that is true, but you just jumped to the wrong conclusion. Hatter is not dead" I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"_But"_ I held my breath.

"We do not know where he is. Last we heard of him, he was heading towards the outlands. Yes that is where Iracebeth is banished. But what we do know is this, he's not the same Hatter as before." Her voice dropping to a whisper towards the end.

Hatter had gone to see Iracebeth? Why? What was going on?

"Mirana, please. Tell me everything that has happened since I have been abroad, and no bullshit covering either." I said harshly, probably a little too harshly.

Mirana seemed stunned.

"I've never heard you speak such ways Alice." She said, shocked at my swearing, placing a hand on her chest.

"Well, this is the new me. Now tell me everything that has happened while I've been gone. By the way, how many years has it been since I've been gone? Cant have been that long can it?"

Mirana laughed softly.

"May take some time to get used to this _new you _Alice. It's been, hmm, I think about 4 years and 7 months? Yes that sounds about right. Time is doubled down here." She said.

That made sense, 2 years gone and it's been 4 years down here. I sighed.

"Why are we also in a graveyard?" I asked, remembering my question suddenly.

She sighed. "We're in the graveyard because," She paused, thinking of how to answer.

"I think you deserve to know the whole story"

"Whole story of what? I asked.

"The whole story about Hatter. Mind you Alice; you may not like this story." Mirana whispered.


	10. Secrets

**Hey guys, sorry for not uploading for months, I was finishing school and was banned from the laptop :/**

**I'll try to post a few chaps today, but if I can't today, I definately will tomorrow.**

**Sorry if the spelling is mucked up, word not working and im writing this on wordpad**

**Hope you like these chaps**

**roxy xx**

"I don't suppose Hatter told you his past?" Mirana asked, her eyes were big and full of worry.

I shook my head. Hatter had only told me about the time the queen had destroyed his village. The very queen he was on his way to see now.

A shiver rocked through me as Mirana nodded.

"We're in the graveyard, because there is something you need to see" she said as she walked to a grave across the yard.

"What do I need to see?" I asked as the 6 of hearts card ran infront of, then stopped.

"Your majesty" he said, bowing, out of breath. "We have found _something_" he said, the last word in a different tone, as he looked at me out the corner of his eyes.

"Ah, well place it in my chambers and I will return after I help Alice with something" Mirana said, hesitatlyas they both looked at me

The six of hearts bowed again and ran off.

"Mirana" I said as I tapped her shoulder. she seemed to concerned with what was going on, then what we really doing.

"hmm?" she finally, finally pulling her gaze away from the 6 of hearts.

"What is this '_something_' that the hearts clame they have found? Does it have to do with Hatter? Where is he?" My questions came out in a rush.

"Oh, that isn't something you sho-" I cut her off.

"Like I said before, no bullshit! I'm sick of everyone trying to protect me! I'm old enough to know things! I'll decide what I want to hear something or not!" I half yelled to Mirana.

She took a step back as if my words knocked her back.

She sighed nd fiddled with the lace of her dress that was on her wrist.

"I suppose you are old enough to know, but before I tell you,- cause I don't even know what they have found" she whispered, a faint smile on her lips "I will have to tell you the story I was going to tell you before we were interupted" she said, finally looking up at me.

I almost forgot about the story Mirana was going to share.

I nodded as we began walking to the spot we were heading to before.

"Here we are" Mirana breathed abut 5 minutes later.

I looked at the tombstones we standing infront of. One was large and the other was quite small.

R.I.P

Sarah Hightop 1999-2020

Read the large one

R.I.P

Baby Hightop Unborn-2020

Read the small one


	11. The Hightops

I looked to Mirana with tears in my eyes.

"Tarrant was married and was going to have a _baby?" _My voice broke on the last word.

Mirana simply nodded.

My knees buckled as I faintly heard Mirana say my name.

Was this the "secret" 6 of hearts was on about?

I saw Mirana bend down to my level out of the corned of my eye.

"Alice? I know this must be a bit to take in, but there's more that you need to know" she said softly, rubbing my shoulder.

"More? What more do I need to know than this?" I gestured to the tomb stones. "He was _married_ Mirana, and by the dates, I'm guessing it happened when I was gone" I sobbed, my voice thick with tears.

"Yes, he was married, but you have jumped to the wrong conclusion again" she said, pulling me up.

"Did he kill her?" I whispered.

"No" She sighed. "And the dates are from before you were here. Down here is a few years ahead of your world, because out land was made before yours"

"So if he didn't kill them, who did?" I said, finally looking Mirana in the eyes.

"The bandersnatch" Mirana said simply.

I rubbed my scars from the bandersnatch as I remembered it. It had seemed horrid at first, with the horrible breath and attacking me.

But while at Irocabeths castle, it showed compassion. I gave him his eye, and he healed my wounds and let me have the sword.

"Whatever happened to him?" I questioned Mirana.

"The bandersnatch keeps guard of things" she said simply.

"But he did that at Ic-" Mirana cut me off.

"He won't do anything else. He was trained to guard, it's all he knows what to do" She explained.

"Okay...what about this story of Hatter?" I reminded her.

Mirana sighed "I was dreading this since I heard you were back"

"So...?" I prodded her

"Ah yes, the story" she said, as if forgetting after 20 seconds.

"You may want to sit down for this Alice. It may take a while and I need to get my facts right first. Lets go back to the castle."

She guided me back to the castle and sat me down on the table in the dining room.

"Tea?" she offered.

I shook my head. "Story?" I retorted

Mirana sat down and looked at me.

"It starts back when Hatter was 18..."

**Sorry that these chaps have been short lately, I'm trying to make them longer, but yeah :/**

**review plz Roxy xx**


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